woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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