O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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