She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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