I can text with my tongue
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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