Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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