margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
