check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
