The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
