Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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