i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
