the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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