remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
