You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
