Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
