well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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