i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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