Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
