I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
