but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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