Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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