There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
