that's an acceptable place to lick
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
