So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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