We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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