Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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