You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
