oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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