Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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