I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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