it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
