i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
