My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
