Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I look better un-naked...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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