We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
