ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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