I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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