Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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