super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
