I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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