I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
