She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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