He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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