rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
