So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Oh god it's open bar.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
