Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
