nutella sex= disaster
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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