Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
