Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
