K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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