Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
