You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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