How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
