i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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