I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
